An open letter to all customers at T.K.Maxx.

Hello there,
You may not recognise my name, or even my face when you pass me for the 30th time in one night as you wander around the store, but please, have some commen decency. Now i know that a lot of you are from Berkley drive, and therefore are lower than lower class, but please. Those things walking around in the red polo shirts, Yeah we're people too believe it or not! Please treat us as such. when we tell you that something is, say, £14.99, we're not lying or making it up, and we ARE NOT going to change our mind about it. No matter how much you umm, ahh, and wander around the tills looking at every last inch of the fabric. See the thing is, we dont care wether or not you buy it. Honestly, we dont. We still get paid at the end of the month, which kinda makes the old "We pay your wages" excuse seem to carry less weight huh? (Oh, and just so you know, being nasty to us isn't going to make us want to give you that measly TEN PERCENT discount SOME of us are allowed to give if there is GENUINLY something wrong with the item.

Now, being invisible to you on the shop floor (unless you need us to fetch something for you, or do a price check for you, or dance for you, or rub your feet) is bad enough... but then there's customer services to deal with.

Being on customer services is a great honour! It shows that you are among the select few who are so good at being trodden on by the customers that you get to deal with the worst of them, for your whole shift! And boy do we love serving you guys! Some of you guys have found it in your hearts to become regular customer services visitors. And dont think for a minuite that we dont appreciate every last threatening, smelly, drunk and downright bastardly one of you.
Now, i know you guys come in here a lot, and so i feel it is my duty to inform you guys about how things work at the registers. When you are queueing up, and there happens to be a line, please dont stare at every guy in a red polo shirt that walks past. If we didnt have something more important (like putting out the stock you're trying to buy) we would be there, serving with a fake-britney-spears-smile. If for some reason, we come back to our register and there is a line, we will most likely call out "who's next please?" This does not mean "Who's fastest to my register?" It means we want the next person in line to come on down. Please don't bum rush the small desk i have to hide behind.

Speaking of serving customers, Customer services can sell you guys stuff. Can. That dosen't mean that you can automatically invite yourself over once the last person returning stuff (yeah, thats what we're there for) has gone and demand that i put your £616.65 transaction through. (happened tonight, took 15 min.) Thats the kind of thing that will make me want to come in with some form of firearms insted of my standard-issue name badge.

Wow, we covered a lot of ground today huh? I just hope that for your sakes, you chavvie scumbags of the earth, scrounging of everyone else just so you can wear that goddawful burburry and smoke your cheap Mayfair fags (that you've been buying since you were 8) you learned something.

Have fun and who knows, prehaps we'll meet on the other side of the desk one day. We can only hope. :)

Lots of love

Jamie
Veg
Banana

"Customer services is like chewing on broken glass. Only 100 times less fun." - Lucas, from www.ctrlaltdel-online.com